Sunday, June 5, 2011

Family Reunion and the year of the Cicada......

 Family Reunions ....ahhhhhhhhh....

Cicada buzzing, the smell of fresh cut blades of grass, the lineup of potluck food, the sound of a hearty laughter and the whirlwind of kids running around in circles, the hug of an older cousin who hasn’t seen you since you were this big….and the tears of joy of new additions to the family or the embrace and the gentle grasp of a hand in support of someone that you loved that has just passed. It’s only once a year, why don’t we all make more time for it. And why haven’t I?

It marks another thirteenth year of the Cicada, I wasn’t here for the last time they came about I would have been 25 then, doing the college thing. But, the  last time before that I do remember the cicadas appearance I was 12 going on 13 and it was the last summer my Grandmother was alive. It is possible to feel melancholy about the year of the cicada? Those crazy bugs that seem to annoying everyone but me, I actually find some kind of harmony and nostalgia in their grand appearance. Did they come out this year just to remind me that I need to reconnect inside and outside with what matters most? Is nature making its way through my heart through old memories of childhood summers? Uhhhmmmm.... probably not! Is it possible that I am a crazy sentimentalist that just hangs on to memories that others have long forgotten and tend to associate smells and sounds to people and last time I saw them? Most likely J

When I think about family reunions something warm and fuzzy comes over me. It is like sitting in your favorite chair with your favorite pillow, favorite blanket, a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows and the remote in your hand, with your feet up and you’re best pal at your side. Yep it’s that good! You feel hugged up around all the best of the best. My family reunions do several things for me internally.  
One they make me remember my Grandmother, she was my number one fan and I hers. I haven’t been anyone’s favorite since and maybe it was one of those very special things or relationships. Was I the child only a grandmother could love...? and love she did! I was very lucky that way.  My best memories of all my life were the times with my Grandparents. They were fun people, you can ask anyone that knew them and they would have something wonderful to say about them. This makes me shed a tear or two because that’s what I would love for my little butternut growing inside me also. When I am at the reunion and I see my grandmother’s brothers and sisters and I can see her in them, it makes me cry inside and sometimes outside too. I miss her. Is it possible to miss someone who died 25 years ago and still cry like it was yesterday?  It is, because as I write this I can feel the tears welling up inside me.

What I really miss is how she made me feel about myself. How she loved me and made me feel inside and out.  There is a quote I once heard, it goes something like “They say people remember you not because what you did for them or how much you bought them, but they will remember you by how you made them feel”.  Wow, amazing. I want my daughter to feel what I felt from my Grandparents.

This quote provoked me to dive even deeper into feelings, how do I make the people I love feel about themselves. How do I treat people I love? Do I take the time to hear their words when they speak? Do I ask them how there day is going? Do I celebrate their milestones and great accomplishments? Do I remember their birthdays and take one on one time with them to know them better?  I think I can do better in these areas. I think that some of the people I cherish most feel like I am very hard on them. How can I make someone feel the way I remember feeling.

How many times do I not hear my husband when he is telling me about his day? How many times do I let my Mom know she needs to be doing something differently?  How many times do I just roll my eyes when I hear something that I don’t approve of?   How am I making my family and friends feel?  Can I accept, love and treat them so they have the glow in their heart that I have when I think about my grandmother? I don’t know. That’s a mighty challenge. But, I do believe I can make the start.  

Good times..........


  1. That was awesome and sooooooo vvvveeeeerrrryyyy touching!!! I absolutely loved it all, story & pics!!! Love you, Mary

  2. thanks Mary....It was great seeing you guys , miss you

  3. I was very touched by your words and love you feel for this family! What a blessing to have them in your life...

  4. Beth, You are an inspiration to have a beautiful way with glad you are going to be here in St. Louis for the rest of your pregnancy. Look forward to seeing You, Mike, and Isabella. We are truly blessed to have you in our lives. Luv ya, Linda & Steve